Friday, November 12, 2010
Thursday, January 1, 2009
#6. Today, I regret not reflecting on promises past
I sincerely believe that God grants the seasons in order to foster the metamorphosis that we need in our lives and so I take full advantage of the fresh start he brings each January 1st. In fact, I have a New Year’s ritual where I take at least an hour to review the current year’s goals, then I list my accomplishments for that year, and finally I prepare my hit list for the year ahead. I prefer not to think of them as resolutions but rather, promise I make to myself.Well, after reviewing my 2008 goals, I noticed that I had broken a lot of promises. If I had been a boyfriend to myself I would really need to break up! Knowing I had hit only a small percentage of my annual targets left me feeling a little melancholy and regretful. Although I am pleased that it is a New Year and I have a fresh set of promises to keep; I had to take a moment to learn from my mistakes. For this is the purpose of the blog, need I remind you, and if the lesson is not learned I will be forced to repeat this experience all over again.
Therefore, my commitment for change requires that I not only look at these goals at the beginning and the end of the year, but I must rehearse them daily until they are memorized. Last year, I had a set of 39 goals, ostentatious I know, but this year I have narrowed it down to 8 power-packed promises with purpose. Lessening the quantity, but not the quality, will make them enjoyable and easy to remember. Once ingrained in my mind, they will flow into my spirit becoming a filter for my daily decisions; thereby increasing my chances for success. It will be very hard for me to get off track as I did in 2008. I believe this new approach will ensure that I keep my pledge strong and all the year long.
Regrettably yours,
Therefore, my commitment for change requires that I not only look at these goals at the beginning and the end of the year, but I must rehearse them daily until they are memorized. Last year, I had a set of 39 goals, ostentatious I know, but this year I have narrowed it down to 8 power-packed promises with purpose. Lessening the quantity, but not the quality, will make them enjoyable and easy to remember. Once ingrained in my mind, they will flow into my spirit becoming a filter for my daily decisions; thereby increasing my chances for success. It will be very hard for me to get off track as I did in 2008. I believe this new approach will ensure that I keep my pledge strong and all the year long.
Regrettably yours,
Sunday, December 28, 2008
#5. Today, I regret my regrets
No regrets over Christmas but two days later and the lessons were in full affect. My first regret was that I gave a gift; a small collection of artistic work that this person begged me to create, yet this person failed to acknowledge receipt. How can anyone insist that you send them something for weeks and then take their time to respond after consumption? Do they realize how laborious it is arrive at a standard of work that is worth sharing and that artists are overly sensitive about their work? I felt snubbed. After all the requests, I had envisioned a pat on the back or words of encouragement. Instead all I received was absence, a deafening quietness that left me with my own over-analytical thoughts and doubt. By the second day, I would have gladly accepted bad news or a criticism, but receiving nothing felt unbearable. My anxiety led to my second regret – going to bed upset, feeling exposed and unappreciated.
Oddly enough, answers come to even the most impatient and overly dramatic people (present company included). During church service today I was reminded that Jesus was a gift, given to all the world by God, but few received him as the Messiah. Amazing! My trivial angst instantly paled in comparison. Furthermore I let my conceit cause me to lose sleep and to turn a positive experience into a negative reality. I had just learned last week that the way I end the day would dictate the tone of the next day, but I still lied down with frustration and consequently woke up with a heaviness this very morning.
This 24-hour cram course on “Get Over Yourself” made me realize that I was insecure about the material that I sent which was why I craved the validation. In the future, I will make certain that my work is something I can be proud of, and once given, I will allow the recipient time to form an opinion without panicking, knowing, whether they approve or disapprove, I will be able to own my gift and be satisfied that I gave my best.
Regrettably yours,
Oddly enough, answers come to even the most impatient and overly dramatic people (present company included). During church service today I was reminded that Jesus was a gift, given to all the world by God, but few received him as the Messiah. Amazing! My trivial angst instantly paled in comparison. Furthermore I let my conceit cause me to lose sleep and to turn a positive experience into a negative reality. I had just learned last week that the way I end the day would dictate the tone of the next day, but I still lied down with frustration and consequently woke up with a heaviness this very morning.
This 24-hour cram course on “Get Over Yourself” made me realize that I was insecure about the material that I sent which was why I craved the validation. In the future, I will make certain that my work is something I can be proud of, and once given, I will allow the recipient time to form an opinion without panicking, knowing, whether they approve or disapprove, I will be able to own my gift and be satisfied that I gave my best.
Regrettably yours,
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
#4. Today, I regret throwing away those turkey necks
I am a neat freak – everything in its place and a place for everything. So when I noticed that the turkey was seasoned and most of the dishes had been washed, I decided to chip in and clean the counters. It was the least I could do since I had every intention of eating a whole lot of big bird this week.
First, I found the towel so I could dry a couple of cups. Then I put them carefully into the cabinet. As I was moving other items off the counter, I noticed these turkey (guts), or so I thought, that were atop of some other miscellaneous items of associated with the turkey. In one swift move, I took a clean white plastic baggie, the kind you get from the market, and I placed all of the turkey parts inside of the bag, tied it up and sat it in the sink so nothing would drip onto the floor. Then I proceeded to wipe down the counter with cleaning solution. All seemed to be well in the world, until around 10:00 pm when I get a tap at my bedroom door.
“Yes,” I answered.
It was the turkey baster. “What did you do with the turkey necks?” she asked in a not-so-nice tone.
“What turkey necks?” It had been over an hour ago since I cleaned the kitchen, and I honestly did not remember seeing any turkey necks.
“I pulled the turkey necks out of the turkey so I could use it for my gravy.” She went on to explain.
Just then it hit me. Her turkey necks had to be all that nasty stuff that was on the counter.
“Oh, those were turkey necks? I put them in a baggie and left it in the sink. Did you throw that stuff away yet?” Trying to get the blame off of me so I could rest.
“Of course I did.”
At this point she is making a lot of judgmental comments about me, which turns me off completely from the conversation. I cannot recall all the details, but I know it ended with “FINE.” That is always the word I use when I am done talking and just don’t care anymore about what the other person has to say.
Minutes later, something in my spirit told me to apologize. I had thrown her meat way, albeit by mistake, and so I should take some responsibility. Of course, she could have been more orderly and had those things in a bowl instead of appearing to be trash and this whole fiasco would have been avoided. Furthermore, she technically threw it away; I only placed it in the bag. But I did not say any of that; I calmly waved the white flag. And then I said the dumbest thing ever, “Do you want me to go look in the trash?”, because she instantly replied, “yes”. In hindsight, it had to be that turkey aroma mixed with tryptophan that made me drowsy and kept me from thinking rationally.
Long story, short, around midnight I was dumpster diving – no not really – the can only had 3 small grocery style plastic bags and the first one I pulled out was the winner. After washing my hands, I also washed the turkey necks, placed them in a bowl (where they should have been all along), and put them in the refrigerator.
What I have learned from this experience is to not be so quick to help others because in the event that something goes wrong, they will immediately forget the good you have done. In fact, they will wake you up from your sleep, harass you and then manipulate you into digging through trash to find some $2 turkey necks! All is well that ends well, but I will be passing on the gravy this year.
Regrettably yours,
First, I found the towel so I could dry a couple of cups. Then I put them carefully into the cabinet. As I was moving other items off the counter, I noticed these turkey (guts), or so I thought, that were atop of some other miscellaneous items of associated with the turkey. In one swift move, I took a clean white plastic baggie, the kind you get from the market, and I placed all of the turkey parts inside of the bag, tied it up and sat it in the sink so nothing would drip onto the floor. Then I proceeded to wipe down the counter with cleaning solution. All seemed to be well in the world, until around 10:00 pm when I get a tap at my bedroom door.
“Yes,” I answered.
It was the turkey baster. “What did you do with the turkey necks?” she asked in a not-so-nice tone.
“What turkey necks?” It had been over an hour ago since I cleaned the kitchen, and I honestly did not remember seeing any turkey necks.
“I pulled the turkey necks out of the turkey so I could use it for my gravy.” She went on to explain.
Just then it hit me. Her turkey necks had to be all that nasty stuff that was on the counter.
“Oh, those were turkey necks? I put them in a baggie and left it in the sink. Did you throw that stuff away yet?” Trying to get the blame off of me so I could rest.
“Of course I did.”
At this point she is making a lot of judgmental comments about me, which turns me off completely from the conversation. I cannot recall all the details, but I know it ended with “FINE.” That is always the word I use when I am done talking and just don’t care anymore about what the other person has to say.
Minutes later, something in my spirit told me to apologize. I had thrown her meat way, albeit by mistake, and so I should take some responsibility. Of course, she could have been more orderly and had those things in a bowl instead of appearing to be trash and this whole fiasco would have been avoided. Furthermore, she technically threw it away; I only placed it in the bag. But I did not say any of that; I calmly waved the white flag. And then I said the dumbest thing ever, “Do you want me to go look in the trash?”, because she instantly replied, “yes”. In hindsight, it had to be that turkey aroma mixed with tryptophan that made me drowsy and kept me from thinking rationally.
Long story, short, around midnight I was dumpster diving – no not really – the can only had 3 small grocery style plastic bags and the first one I pulled out was the winner. After washing my hands, I also washed the turkey necks, placed them in a bowl (where they should have been all along), and put them in the refrigerator.
What I have learned from this experience is to not be so quick to help others because in the event that something goes wrong, they will immediately forget the good you have done. In fact, they will wake you up from your sleep, harass you and then manipulate you into digging through trash to find some $2 turkey necks! All is well that ends well, but I will be passing on the gravy this year.
Regrettably yours,
Monday, December 22, 2008
#3. Today, I also regret having to use that Wal-Mart bathroom
When I get up in the morning I am parched, and so I sleep with a glass of water by the bed. After my morning work out I get dehydrated and require even more water. Finally, I carry a bottle of water around with me in my purse that I refill whenever possible because I get thirsty throughout the day and I am too frugal to buy any. (Have you seen the cost of bottled water?)
Lately, my eight glasses a day are usually met by noon so I always have to go, have to go, and have to go right now. As a consequence, I have become an authority on public restrooms. It is a tough job, but…
Today I am out shopping at the Wal-Mart, west of town where the older people live. My mother heard it was typically less crowded and cleaner than the rest; and it was. Well, I am in there a few minutes when the urge hits me. Upon finding the restrooms, some odors hit me as well. It was a nose-holding experience, to say the least. I am still wondering where in the world were the automatic deodorizers? Rather, where was the Wal-Mart helper with the mop and bucket? I know things happen but good customer service warrants timely clean-ups, right? No such luck. An hour or so later, my mother had to visit the little girl’s room and it was the same story. Yuck!
So what is a girl to do? Either I give up my water diet before shopping or I hold it? Knowing I cannot do either for long; I am on a mission to find an air deodorizer that will attach to my bottled water!!!
Regrettably yours,
Lately, my eight glasses a day are usually met by noon so I always have to go, have to go, and have to go right now. As a consequence, I have become an authority on public restrooms. It is a tough job, but…
Today I am out shopping at the Wal-Mart, west of town where the older people live. My mother heard it was typically less crowded and cleaner than the rest; and it was. Well, I am in there a few minutes when the urge hits me. Upon finding the restrooms, some odors hit me as well. It was a nose-holding experience, to say the least. I am still wondering where in the world were the automatic deodorizers? Rather, where was the Wal-Mart helper with the mop and bucket? I know things happen but good customer service warrants timely clean-ups, right? No such luck. An hour or so later, my mother had to visit the little girl’s room and it was the same story. Yuck!
So what is a girl to do? Either I give up my water diet before shopping or I hold it? Knowing I cannot do either for long; I am on a mission to find an air deodorizer that will attach to my bottled water!!!
Regrettably yours,
#2. Today, I regret saying "yes" in the first place
Just in from shopping with my mom all day, mainly for Christmas dinner; I'm on Facebook and checking my emails when the phone rings.
“Hey, what are you doing?”
I explain casually.
“Do you wanna go to the ball game?”
Ut oh, I think to myself. This is my ex who wants to be my current and he knows I have a weakness for good food & sports.
“So what time is the game?”
“7”
It is already 6:05 pm. He did not leave me much time to think about this did he? First sign. My brain attempts to balance this out – basketball on one hand – no drama on the other. What do I do?
“Hello, are you there?”
Still thinking about whether I can enjoy the company for 45 minutes to the game, two-hours of the game, and 45 minutes back; and do I actually have time to slip on some jeans and my game shirt? I think I can do it. Shucks, it is only a game.
“Yeah, I think I can I can pull myself together, what time are you coming by?”
“I will be there fairly soon.”
“Okay.”
Click! As soon as I get off the phone I feel completely conflicted, for so many reasons. I immediately call back with a nice apology and a short explanation about why I cannot accept his invitation. With the press of the talk button to hang up, I felt relieved. Yes, relieved, like I was off the hook (unintentional pun).
Then what do you know? He calls me back with ATTITUDE. Now, I know without equivocation, I had made the right decision.
“So why did you change your mind?”
“I already obligated myself to some other people and it is a matter of integrity.”
“You will be back by 9pm, it can’t wait?”
At this point, I am getting a little peeved because he is questioning me, but I politely respond.
“Hey, I apologize again. I should never have agreed without thinking this through.”
“Do you have another date?”
That is it. He is officially on my last nerve.
“No I don’t and I would not be afraid to tell you if I did. I really need to go. Have fun.”
A clear signal, clarity, about what can happen when you make a decision without peace; especially when it involves past relationships. I do not blame him for having a plan. Unfortunately for him, it no longer works for me. But for a moment there I was about to fall back into an old practice for momentary satisfaction. Can I get a witness? In the end, I am glad to know that this was my only regret.
If this were to happen again, and it will. At that first sign of uneasiness, I would make certain to decline quickly!!!
Regrettably yours,
“Hey, what are you doing?”
I explain casually.
“Do you wanna go to the ball game?”
Ut oh, I think to myself. This is my ex who wants to be my current and he knows I have a weakness for good food & sports.
“So what time is the game?”
“7”
It is already 6:05 pm. He did not leave me much time to think about this did he? First sign. My brain attempts to balance this out – basketball on one hand – no drama on the other. What do I do?
“Hello, are you there?”
Still thinking about whether I can enjoy the company for 45 minutes to the game, two-hours of the game, and 45 minutes back; and do I actually have time to slip on some jeans and my game shirt? I think I can do it. Shucks, it is only a game.
“Yeah, I think I can I can pull myself together, what time are you coming by?”
“I will be there fairly soon.”
“Okay.”
Click! As soon as I get off the phone I feel completely conflicted, for so many reasons. I immediately call back with a nice apology and a short explanation about why I cannot accept his invitation. With the press of the talk button to hang up, I felt relieved. Yes, relieved, like I was off the hook (unintentional pun).
Then what do you know? He calls me back with ATTITUDE. Now, I know without equivocation, I had made the right decision.
“So why did you change your mind?”
“I already obligated myself to some other people and it is a matter of integrity.”
“You will be back by 9pm, it can’t wait?”
At this point, I am getting a little peeved because he is questioning me, but I politely respond.
“Hey, I apologize again. I should never have agreed without thinking this through.”
“Do you have another date?”
That is it. He is officially on my last nerve.
“No I don’t and I would not be afraid to tell you if I did. I really need to go. Have fun.”
A clear signal, clarity, about what can happen when you make a decision without peace; especially when it involves past relationships. I do not blame him for having a plan. Unfortunately for him, it no longer works for me. But for a moment there I was about to fall back into an old practice for momentary satisfaction. Can I get a witness? In the end, I am glad to know that this was my only regret.
If this were to happen again, and it will. At that first sign of uneasiness, I would make certain to decline quickly!!!
Regrettably yours,
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