#5. Today, I regret my regrets

No regrets over Christmas but two days later and the lessons were in full affect. My first regret was that I gave a gift; a small collection of artistic work that this person begged me to create, yet this person failed to acknowledge receipt. How can anyone insist that you send them something for weeks and then take their time to respond after consumption? Do they realize how laborious it is arrive at a standard of work that is worth sharing and that artists are overly sensitive about their work? I felt snubbed. After all the requests, I had envisioned a pat on the back or words of encouragement. Instead all I received was absence, a deafening quietness that left me with my own over-analytical thoughts and doubt. By the second day, I would have gladly accepted bad news or a criticism, but receiving nothing felt unbearable. My anxiety led to my second regret – going to bed upset, feeling exposed and unappreciated.

Oddly enough, answers come to even the most impatient and overly dramatic people (present company included). During church service today I was reminded that Jesus was a gift, given to all the world by God, but few received him as the Messiah. Amazing! My trivial angst instantly paled in comparison. Furthermore I let my conceit cause me to lose sleep and to turn a positive experience into a negative reality. I had just learned last week that the way I end the day would dictate the tone of the next day, but I still lied down with frustration and consequently woke up with a heaviness this very morning.

This 24-hour cram course on “Get Over Yourself” made me realize that I was insecure about the material that I sent which was why I craved the validation. In the future, I will make certain that my work is something I can be proud of, and once given, I will allow the recipient time to form an opinion without panicking, knowing, whether they approve or disapprove, I will be able to own my gift and be satisfied that I gave my best.

Regrettably yours,